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Will you marry me?’ He said as he was on one knee with an extended arm and a trembling hand. I said ‘yes’ and he all but threw the gorgeous ring that sat in the box on my lap. I’d never seen him so nervous. As if there was any chance I’d say no!
We were living in a small apartment in Northfield Village at the time. It was within walking distance to the local bar we’d frequent every weekend with our friends. We’d have the before and/or after party and created some of the best memories of our young lives with each other and our friends.
That day, in particular, we were surrounded by Matt’s parents, my parents, and my brother. A tiny space with those we loved the most celebrating us deciding to share our lives together. We cracked a bottle of wine we’d recently gotten from a winery in Oklahoma we had been saving for a special occasion, shared a toast with our family, and off to the bar we went to celebrate with our friends. It was the most exciting time! We always knew we’d get married in September. It was the month we’d started dating 8 years prior, but equally in importance, the month my Dad’s Dahlias would be in bloom. We chose September 4, 2010.
My Dad started working on the garden in early spring to be sure to have the best bloom for our wedding. He held out the magazine he’d order from for me to choose which Dahlias I’d like to have in my bouquet. My long-time dear friend and florist gifted us her creativity and love to create the most beautiful centerpieces and bouquets. It was magical to see creativity and love come together to be such a special part of our day.
My Dad’s garden in its best years had approximately 75 tubers- which means 75 plants with countless Dahlias on each. He’d give them to his banker, his chiropractor, his waitress, the person in the turning lane next to him… literally any and every one to brighten their day. I dubbed it, ‘Dickie’s Dahlias, a Legacy of Love.’ What a legacy to hold.
When he passed almost 2 years ago, my brother kept my Dad’s garden in tip top shape. The flowers were gorgeous as ever and loved and appreciated more than ever before.
His garden hasn’t been planted since. As you can imagine, it was a large undertaking and took hours upon hours of effort that was perfect for a semi-retired man with a passion. Though I understood it, it broke my heart to see an empty garden in the years to follow my Dad’s passing.
The day before Matt died, we went to Lowe’s to get everything I needed to start a Dahlia garden of my own. I was finally taking on the task, excitedly.
On May 1, 2022, instead of going grocery shopping and doing normal Sunday things, Matt decided to start clearing out space in an overgrown garden for me to create my own Legacy of Love. I was in awe at the importance to him to create that space for me and my garden.
Shortly after he came in to take a break, he died. He died doing something so thoughtful and special for me. Something he knew would bring endless amounts of joy and healing to my heart. Though certainly a devastating tragedy beyond belief, I also find it beautiful and poetic. A sure sign of exactly who he was as a husband to me.
Weeks later, our sweet friend encouraged me to plant the Dahlias I intended to. He said something like, ‘it may not feel good now, but it will feel worse in the months to come without Dahlias in your garden.’ A week later, I found the courage and strength to make a small garden of 8 tubers. He was right, as hard as it was to muster up the strength, physically and emotionally, it paid off yesterday with my very first Dahlia bloom of my own.
Working in my yard and gardening has been part of what’s gotten me to this point in my healing. Planting and creating and seeing seeds grow to grass or flowers or Dahlias has been very healing for me. Often a slow process (much like grief)- little amounts of growth every day that undoubtedly turn into something bigger in the end.
My whole body was smiling yesterday when I noticed my very first Dahlia. I was beaming with pride, with love, with joy, with happiness. I can see in my mind my Dad and Matt up there with a high-five and a smile watching down on me with pride and love. Yesterday was a big day for me. How appropriate that today, 0715, would also be a day of such importance to Matt and I as I sit by my garden and write. In 2 days it will be 2 years since my Dad passed… what a beautiful way to honor him and his Legacy of Love.
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