When the first baby comes, every little victory is huge. Taking a shower. Eating a full meal. Swaddling the ‘right way.’ Things that used to be easy tasks aren’t so easy when someone’s little precious life depends on every part of you at all hours of the day.
Kelly’s Island was our biggest victory. We took Michael on his first vacation there when he was just a baby… just the three of us. The minimum stay at the only hotel on the island is two nights- so for 3 days, unless we wanted to take the ferry back, we had to figure out this parenting thing- just Matt and I. Beyond the year of the Covid shutdown, we’ve taken the kids every year. We came to know the Island well. We had our little sweet spots, have eaten at most every restaurant, became friendly with the hotel staff and waitress at the winery as we saw them year after year… it was another of our favorite places on Earth that was just ours for those three days a year. We could unwind, unplug, and just be for three whole days.
Last December we booked our trip with our neighbor family, also known as our Beverly crew. Some have never been to the Island, so at the time, Matt and I had 8 months of anticipation of showing Beverly some of our most meaningful and special spots that we came to know and love.
I knew this trip would be hard on me. There were so many special moments and wonderful memories we shared there as a family of three, four, and then five. I’d say it was equal parts fun and painful. It was really the first time I was brought to tears watching my married friends together while I sat alone (figuratively speaking- because of course my boys were with me). It was like a punch to the gut with screams saying, ‘you are, in fact, alone.’
We went to the Village Pump and had Brandy Alexander’s as that was Matt’s favorite and a beautiful memory for both me and another Beverly friend. We explored an abandoned winery that Matt and I hadn’t seen. We paddle boarded, kayaked, had a beach day, laughed, loved, watched the sunset, and created new memories together with our Beverly crew that is now stronger in bond than ever, but most definitely different and more quiet.
At Matt’s funeral, my cousin had the idea to have rocks in a basket for people to write a word or phrase to honor his memory. The intention was for the boys and I to leave the stones wherever we go for the person who finds it to read the words and receive the energy of love. For this, I collected the stones from Beverly Drive. It seemed only appropriate to bring a stone for all Beverly members to leave on the Island wherever they chose to spread the fun loving energy and memory of Matt Moxley.
The morning we left, the boys and I took the crew to our hidden, sacred spot. We held hands, Michael and I said our Daddy prayer with the group, spread some of his ashes, and just sat in thought- together. The boys and I got our best friend bracelets as we do every vacation, and got one for Daddy to leave by his stone and ashes. It was a beautiful trip filled with love and support from all, but oh how I wish he was there to enjoy it with us… to enjoy it with me.
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